Memories
by Pureauthor
Summary: Long after someone is gone, their memories still linger in the hearts of those who care...


Such Sweet Sorrow

I wrote this while feeling a bit depressed. Bad grades, a bit under the weather, that sort of thing. However, instead of devoting my time to studying and improving my grades as I _should_, I'll just write a story instead. (sighs) My mind is screwed up.

Regardless, here we go.

Story info: Alternate ending to GS:TLA. Contains spoilers.

Genre: Angst/Romance

And I don't own this. How should I put it? Duuhhh…..

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Plains are hard to come by around Vale. After all, the very town is built within a valley, in the shadow of Mt. Aleph. Or at least it used to. With the formation of the Golden Sun, the mountains around the area were leveled by the massive blast of energy, and soil, rock, and various other things of the earth were removed, making the entire area around what remained of the town rather flat. As such, plains were now plentiful around the town.

With the release of Alchemy once more into the world, the soil around the whole place seemed… richer. Filled with luster and life. As were as the winds, swirling about strongly, just enough to create a pleasant breeze.

All this was of scant comfort to the eighteen-year old Jupiter adept that was slowly making her way up the slight rise. Ahead of her was a single stone marker. The people of Vale, homeless, without a steady supply of food, without proper crops to grow their foodstuffs, had crafted this first of all upon their attempt to rebuild their once prosperous village. That's the sort of nice thing the people of Vale are known for these days.

She took in a deep breath as she stared down at the stone marker. On it were four letters, forever scratched into the rough surface.

A shaky smile spread across Sheba's features as she opened her mouth, trying to make the words that seemed to stick in her throat come out. "Hey there, Ivan." There. She had said it. Three simple words. She could go on. Forcing her mouth open, she continued.

"I'm getting married tomorrow. I thought… I thought you'd like to know."

Sheba closed her eyes, feeling the familiar sting of hot tears. "You know… I never… I never thought it would come to this. But Felix… he… he loves me. He truly does. And who am I to refuse him? You understand, right? You know… you know I had no other choice? Don't you?" Pointless. Defending her actions to a lifeless slab of stone? What difference would it make? In the end, nothing would change. Tomorrow, she'd be wed, life in Vale would go on the same old way, and Ivan would still be… still…

Slowly, she slumped to the ground in front of the headstone, her body wracked with sobs.

_Why?_ Why did it have to end that way?

And even as she bowed her head, tears streaming down her face, her mind was not on the present, but on that frigid winter night three years ago…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_How long can this thing gonna take last?" Garet yelled over the howling winds. And in front of him, filling the vision of all the adepts, was the humongous shape of the Doom Dragon. Two of it's heads had already been severed, but that had only served to make it angrier. " We've been pounding this thing for who-knows how long!"_

_Backing away from the monster, Sheba leaned wearily on her staff for support. The Doom Dragon opened it's humongous mouth, jumping forward as it snapped at Isaac, the near miss knocking him to the ground. Before the Dragon could attack again, Ivan had stepped forward, blasts of psynergetic lightning flowing from his fingertips, raining mercilessly on the monstrosity that faced them._

_Howling in rage, the Doom Dragon swept his spiked tail along the aerie, knocking Ivan down the steps that led to the peak of the lighthouse. Blood began to spread from an ugly wound on his shoulder_

_"Ivan!" Jumping down beside him, Sheba unleashed Breath, smiling with relief as the blood flow stopped. Ivan offered a tiny smile of thanks, before his eyes widened._

_"Look out!" Grabbing her, both of them rolled to the side, just as a rain of boulders smashed onto the spot they had been just a moment ago. Panting, Ivan released his grip on her, wincing slightly as he struggled to his feet. With a quick backwards glance, Sheba noted that they were way too close to the edge of the lighthouse for comfort And the Doom Dragon was currently advancing on them, ignoring the other adepts, even as they rained psynergy spells nonstop on it's thick hide, tearing huge holes in it's flesh. Not good. Not good at all…_

Suddenly, the Doom Dragon let out a horrible croaking screech, as it flapped it's wings, taking to the air. Safe in the raging winds above the aerie, it began collecting Venus psynergy to itself, preparing itself to unleash the most spectacular, and terrible, of it's powers upon the weary adepts far below it.

_A storm of golden rays erupted from the glowing figure of the Doom Dragon, sweeping through the air in wide, random patterns, crashing down onto the ground of the Lighthouse, throwing up huge gouts of soil and snow, blasting away everything. But that was not the spell's primary purpose. A single beam of light shot almost vertically downwards, pulsing with energy, towards the aerie of the lighthouse. And it was heading straight for the Jupiter adepts. With them so close to the edge, if the sheer power of the spell did not kill them, the resulting energy flow would blast them over the edge, into the stark whiteness far below them._

_Sheba stared at the golden ray of light. There was no possible way she could avoid it. With a resigned sigh, she closed her eyes. If this was to be her end, she would stand tall in it's face. She would not behave with hysteria. She could already feel the heat radiatingt from the golden blast-_

_And she was on the ground, pushed to the side at the last second. In disbelief, she lifted her head-_

_Only to catch a last glimpse of Ivan as he was thrown from the aerie of the lighthouse. "NO!" She screamed. But there was nothing she could do. She could only watch._

_Watch as Ivan fell._

_A second later, the Doom Dragon roared, the sound painfully close to her, snapping her back into focus. Glaring with wild fury, she lifted her hands. She had released enough djinn. She could do this. One last effort._

_"I summon Thor!"_

_A bolt of sapphire lightning slammed from the heavens onto the surprised Doom Dragon, and the legendary God of Thunder appeared, electricity flowing forth from his great warhammer. The massive torrent of lightning surged straight into the Dragon, frying him with thousands upon thousands of volts of Jupiter Psynergy._

_And that was it. The massive behemoth swayed, staggered, and fell back, it's last head dropping from it's body. But Sheba wasn't looking anymore. She was staring down at the vast empty whiteness far below her where she had seen Ivan fall. She was vaguely aware of the heads shrinking, changing form behind her as a single tear dropped down, down, down into oblivion…_

_At the bottom of the lighthouse, she had not been carrying one of the three people the Doom Dragon had been made of. She had practically been screaming with impatience as she watched the levels roll by on the elevator. Once at the bottom, she had stepped off._

_And in the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of green and purple._

_An instant later, she had skidded to a stop beside Ivan's body, hand flying to her mouth as she stared at his cold, silent form._

_Falling to her knees, she numbly pulled Ivan up, holding him to his body as she rocked back and forth, calling out his name. "Ivan, please, wake up. Please, no, don't… don't leave me…" But it was futile and useless and she knew it._

_Ivan was dead. Dead as the soulless air that howled around them in rending crescendos, their screams echoing the sounds of Sheba's heart shattering. And she held him, rocking back and forth silently. She held to his cold, lifeless body, tears flowing freely down her cheeks._

_"Ivan… Ivan… Ivan…" As if somehow, that mantra would bring him back. But nothing would. Nothing could ever bring him back. And as she sat there in that frozen hell, cradling his corpse, Sheba slowly sank into blessed unconsciousness…_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Blinking back tears, she lifted her head, as she once again stared at the stone marker.

"So many memories…" She whispered, half to herself. "So many regrets." The Proxians had embalmed his body, preserving it until it could be brought back to Vale in honour. A martyr, who had died to help save the world.

And? What the fuck was that going to help? He was _dead_. Dead, and nothing would ever change that. And where did that leave the others? Dazed with grief, Sheba had barely eaten anything for over a month. And when Felix had finally managed to coax her into consuming a fair-sized meal, she had thrown up.

She was better now. But Ivan wasn't. Ivan wasn't there to comfort her.

Like he had… like he had the first time they met…

"I pushed you away then." Sheba said numbly. If only she could go back and change things… but the power to twist time was not one the elements had seen fit to give humans to wield…

And damn it all, if only it were… if only it were…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sheba lay on her bed, crying her eyes out. Why? Why was she stuck here, in this foreign city? What had she done to deserve this?

_Everyone in the palace treated her well enough. But this was not home. This was some big, strange town, and a big, strange palace she was not allowed to leave. She was barely even allowed to venture out of her room, comfortable as it was. She was a prisoner, trapped in a golden cage._

_So she cried. She cried for her foster father, who had cared for her. She cried for her mother, who had been ill with fever when she had been forcibly dragged away from the only home she had ever known. And most of all, she cried for herself. Child of the Gods. If that was the case, the Gods didn't seem too bloody concerned with their children._

_"Hey… why are you crying?"_

_The sound of a voice snapped her out of reverie. Looking up, she saw with tear-filled eyes, a figure standing in front of her. Scrubbing furiously at her eyes, she finally managed to clear them enough to see who was standing in front of her._

_Looking slightly uncomfortable, a boy, barely fifteen, from his looks, with sympathetic violet eyes and messy blonde hair looked down on her, concern showing clearly in his eyes._

_Sheba stared at him dumbly for a moment, before something finally snapped. She was trapped in this alien town, in a palace full of soldiers mean to her, barely able to leave her room, unable to even see or talk to her father and mother, never knowing if they were alright, if they were still ALIVE, and this… this kid in front of her had the gall to ask why she was crying?!_

_"What concern is it to someone like you?" She said coldly. Even in anger, she didn't blow up. That would not have been proper. For his part, the boy shrugged._

_"Dunno." He let out a sheepish grin. "I just, y'know, saw you, and I, well, I thought you might want some cheering up."_

_"I'm fine." She said, as acidly as she could. The boy raised an eyebrow, before lifting his hand and closing his eyes. A slight purple glow surrounded his body, and Sheba's mouth dropped open._

I thought… I though I was the only one who had that power? _Apparently not, as after a moment, the boy opened his eyes and shook his head._

_"No, you're most definitely not fine." He said. Settling down besides her, he hesitated a moment before speaking. "What's troubling you, seriously?"_

_"And why should I tell you?" She snapped. It didn't matter if this boy possessed the same powers as her, she had no other connection to him whatsoever, and why couldn't he mind his own business?_

_"Well… let me put it this way." He said. " If you tell someone your sorrows, that's half the burden off you. If you tell someone your delights and pleasures, that's twice the joy."_

_"But the halving only counts if the listener really cares." She replied. Despite herself, she was… interested in this strange boy. And heck, company was company._

_"Oh, believe me." The boy let out a coy smile. "I care."_

_"And how am I supposed to know that?" She shot back._

_"I asked you how you're doing, didn't I?" He replied gamely. Okay, fine. She realized with a bit of exasperation. She had talked herself into a corner. But maybe she could wiggle out of this._

_"You might just be bored and wanting to pass the time."_

_"Oh, believe me." He laughed. "One of my friends just got the snot knocked out of him by a goon sweating testosterone in the Colosso championship, and another one of my friends is casting a new healing psynergy on him every two minutes. Hanging out with a group like that ensures you never get bored. No, I saw you here in this exact same room yesterday, and I wondered what you were doing stuck in this tower."_

_"Ah, so it's fulfilling curiosity, is it?" She offered, eyes gleaming. She wasn't going to lose this battle of wits if she could help it._

_"Okay, you know what? Fine. I'm curious 'bout you. Happy? Now, tell me what's wrong."_

_"No, I don't think I will." She smirked as she leaned back against the wall. Game, set, and match._

_The boy blinked quickly, as if surprised. Then, he shrugged it off with a laugh. "Oh, well. Guess I'm not finding out anytime soon. No big deal. Besides, I already did what I came here for."_

_"Oh?" Sheba blinked. If he was just playing around, why try to talk to her so much. "And that would be?"_

_"Cheering you up." The boy grinned as he stood to leave the room. "Looks like I succeeded, if the smile's anything to go by. My name's Ivan, by the way. Nice knowing you." And he was gone._

_Sheba blinked and sat back. Shaking her head, she laughed despite herself. _

_Just forget him, she told herself. But she couldn't. Even as she lay down to sleep that night, her mind was with the strange boy with purple eyes and a smile that was somehow sad…_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Sheba shook her head as she once again lifted her head. She had been lost in memory again. "Why?" She whispered to the frigid air. Why couldn't she just let it go, let the memories of Ivan fade? Why wouldn't they leave her alone?!

Because it was Ivan. That was the simplest answer she could find. Ivan was himself. And that was what made him special.

He threw his heart, his soul into everything he did. Like the time… like the time on Venus Lighthouse…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*__

_Sheba's mouth hung slack as she stared at the huge, twin-headed creature that shrieked in front of them. Like some nightmare on a hot night, Saturos and Mernadi had swelled, combined and grown into this… this monstrosity._

_And standing against them, four ants in a howling maelstrom of power and flame, stood them. The four people that had talked about rescuing her. And among them… Ivan. The strange boy who had cheered her up in Tolbi._

_He was standing there, almost casually, all smiles gone. In his hands, he gripped a staff, beginning to glow. And as Sheba watched, the heavens split open._

_Thunder crashed down on the Dragon, waves of electricity racing down it's back. As the Dragon screeched in pain, Ivan redoubled the assault. If it were possible, more and more blasts of lightning rained mercilessly on the beast, while the others in the background prepared their own spells._

_"Stay back!" Felix yelled to her as he pulled her away from the beast. And not a moment too soon. Opening it's mouths, it fired a wave of incinerating flames straight at the young Jupiter Adept. Ivan, staggered under the assault, then amazingly, stood his ground. Narrowing his eyes again the fires raging around his body, he once again sent another blast of electricity at the Dragon. Slipping slightly, the Dragon halted it's assault momentarily, giving Ivan some breathing room._

_Sheba shook her head, eyes wide with horror as she stared at the limping boy. Burns covered more than half of his body, and he could barely stand. Rushing over, a girl with bright blue hair murmured some soothing words, and azure light bathed Ivan. When it faded, his wounds were more or less gone._

_"Ivan," Sheba could hear the girl's voice, shockingly clear. The again, they were standing just in front of her. "You should rest. Isaac and Garet are handling that… thing. It'll be alright."_

_"No." Ivan shook his head, pain and weariness all too apparent in his voice. "No, Mia, it won't. Look at it. It doesn't even know what it's doing." Sheba blinked in surprise, then glanced at the huge beast. She had naturally assumed it carried some of Saturos' and Mernadi's intents, but now… it was merely screaming in rage, shooting plumes of flames and slashing wildly at anything that approached it. As she watched, a boy with a long flowing yellow scarf- Isaac, Garet?- slashed at it with his sword, earning a screech of rage. And twin blasts of fire to the face._

_"It's a hurt, confused, lost creature." Ivan continued. "And I'm going…" He stumbled, almost fell. "I HAVE to put it out of it's misery." His face contorted, hardening, filled with determination. "One last gasp…" He whispered to himself._

_Throwing both arms to the air, he closed his eyes and began to murmur some words that Sheba couldn't hear. Suddenly, a bright crack of thunder made her head snap up, watching the gathering clouds with shock._

_Streaks of purple fell, from the sky, coalescing into burning rays of lightning, white-hot and sparkling with electric fires. Sheba's mouth fell open as she stared at the spell._

_S-spark Plasma? It was said to be a legendary spell, one that no mage could ever master. Evidently Ivan had, though, for he channeled the full force of all the destructive energy he could muster straight into the Dragon in front of him. And with that final blow, he just  about collapsed._

_But so did the Dragon. Slowly, it began to shrink and waver, until she could see the shapes of Saturos and Mernadi standing there. With a last look of disbelief, they plunged into the beacon well. They were gone forever._

_Suddenly, there was a flash of green light, and then the shockwave…_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Sheba shook her head. What was she _doing_, standing around, letting herself get lost in memories like that? It made not difference in the long run. Standing, she stared long and hard at the stone marker.

"I suppose it would be too much to ask if memories of you were to just leave my mind." She whispered, her words sounding hollow even to herself.

The stone marker stared back, silent, mocking her. Finally, she cast her eyes down. "I know." She whispered, eyes watering over again even as she spoke. "It's selfish of me… but… but… it's just so hard." She sank down onto her knees again, eyes shut, hot tears falling down her cheeks, onto her dress. "I… I just feel so… so rotten, like this. I don't know… I don't know what to do anymore…" Curling up into a ball, she sobbed softly.

"I don't know…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_"Thought I'd find you up here." Sheba smiled as she saw Ivan's head appear over the side of the top deck. "Come on up. Plenty of room."_

_"That'd be dependant on who you have in mind." Ivan replied dryly as he climbed up the ladder. "It'd probably break under Garet's weight." Sheba let out an involuntary snort of laughter._

_"I wish I could be like you." She said wistfully. "Able to make jokes about everything."_

_"Comes with my childhood." He said, sitting down next to her. "Laugh or cry. Your choice."_

_"I dunno…" Sheba shook her head. "Right now, I feel a little like crying."_

_Ivan raised an eyebrow. "Why? We've just been through the last Rock on Weyard, we've got a cannon with which we can blow the stupid hunk of ice in our way up to Prox, ammunition FOR the cannon, everything's going fine, and soon we'll see Mars Lighthouse lit. No biggie."_

_Sheba shivered and leaned in closer to him. "I… I just feel like something terrible is going to happen. I've been getting waking dreams, visions, whatever you call them. Something bad is going to happen, Ivan. I can feel it."_

_Ivan stared at her for a minute, before putting his arm around her supportively. "Hey." He said. "Don't talk like that. Look, what have you met so far on your journey that could do us in? Well, except for big freaky multi-headed dragons, half-insane Proxians with a fetish for vengeance, various big reptiles-"_

_"Don't joke about it!" Sheba insisted as she turned to glare at Ivan. "I- I'm serious about this, okay?"_

_Ivan was silent again. Then, sighing, he turned to her with a gentle smile. "Sheba, trust me. We'll all come out of this alive. I promise you. We'll return safely. All of us."_

_Sheba returned the smile somewhat shakily. "Yeah… I guess you're right."_

_Then the two of them were silent, turning to stare at the sunset on the horizon, as the ship sailed ever closer to the Northern Reaches…_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

"You didn't return with us." Sheba said tearfully as she once again stared at the gravestone. "You said you would come back… but you didn't."

"WHY?!" Shebascreamed to the air, all her anger and frustration finally boiling over. Why didn't you come back?! Why, Jupiter damn you…" Sheba sobbed once more as she slumped back down, defeated. It had always been like this. Always, after Ivan's death, Sheba would just mope around, depressed, submitting to occasional fits of anger. Recently, it had gotten better, but now, coming back to his marker… it had all came rushing back. Slumping against the cold marble of the gravestone, she once again cried.

A hand came to rest on her back. Instantly, Sheba jerked up, blinking with confused eyes, staring upwards.

Violet eyes stared back at her, framed by messy blonde hair. Slowly, the vision of Ivan smiled at her, before reaching down with an open hand.

"Why are you crying?" Sheba blinked. Ivan was gone. In his place stood a man with dark hair falling down his shoulders, part of it pulled back into a ponytail, and brown eyes. Felix shook his head as he turned to stare at the marker.

"Thinking about Ivan, huh?" Felix shook his head sadly. "All of us miss him, Sheba. But sitting down here and crying won't bring him back. Nothing will." Felix hesitated a moment more. "Sheba… do you want to go back?" Sheba merely nodded, and Felix coughed slightly. He knew that Ivan and Sheba had been close… "I'll, uh, go on ahead."

Sheba bowed her head, before turning and walking after Felix.

As she strode away, she turned back… and her eyes widened. Standing in front of the stone marker, was Ivan standing there and looking straight at her. As she watched, he gave her a sad smile, and she could almost hear his voice in the wind.

_I never returned to you… well, maybe… maybe that was because I never truly left._

Then, slowly, the spectre of Ivan faded out. Sheba remained, staring at the spot where he had been.

"Ivan…" She whispered softly. "Maybe… maybe I can go on… without you…" Then, turning, she walked back to Vale. 

She had been speaking to herself. But maybe, just maybe, Ivan had heard her too.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, now, I've worked the depression off!

Carl: Great, so your method of dealing with depression is to make the _readers_ depressed. Good job.

Author: Ah, stuff it. So, how do you like it? Personally, I found my ending a little off, but hey, that's life.

Read and Review, if you'd be so kind.


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